There are an infinite number of activities we can take on to fill up our days.
Or we can do nothing.
I am getting better at unlearning the notion that only productive days are good days. Some of the best days I have lived through had more to do with small increments of satisfaction, contentment, and laughter—as opposed to getting a mountain of tasks done.
This week, I am writing to you about some of the ways that I am filling up my days. I am extracting elements of meaning and satisfaction out of activities that feel more substantive and nourishing. They are all works in progress, and they give me great joy.
Music
I recently announced that I am doing Concerts for One (One Person or One Household). Last night, I performed for the very first one of these shows (for one person at his home). This candlelit evening was delightful. Through my music, this time between us became more of an exchange of ideas and stories. We laughed a lot, divulged secrets to each other, and found comfort in our hopes and dreams. I cannot wait for the next one in August.The tricky part about these concerts is that I have to be prepared to play 38 songs. (This includes 31 originals and seven covers.) For a regular show, I would have a small selection of songs I prepare beforehand and only play those pieces in a particular sequence. In this case, an audience member is given a list of songs and gets to choose what I play at random.
This means that, one way or another, I have to keep all 38 songs in my practice rotations each day throughout the week. Figuring out how to do this has been a fun puzzle to solve. Each day, I get to travel through this repertoire of mine and fine tune and air out every melodic nook and cranny. This has been simultaneously daunting and gratifying because I have learned that I can play all 38 songs well and without any major hiccups. Who would have thought?Self-care mornings.
The older I get, the more I understand how important it is to take care of my physical body. Self-care is not particularly glamorous or exciting, but it has become essential in my life. These practices take up the first early hour as the first priority of my day (when I am not traveling or have to prep for a big project).
I start by dousing my face with cold water and use a gentle, creamy, almond-infused facial cleanser that makes my skin feel soft and delicious. This is followed by a water-based face moisturizer. Then I take two minutes to brush my teeth with my electric sonic toothbrush.
I slowly do twenty minutes of stretching that incorporates some light yoga and lots of deep breathing. My back and my range of motion seem to be a lot better because of this.
Lastly, I pick a section of my studio to tidy up for about 5 to 30 minutes (even if this is just a corner of my desk). It is continually surprising to me how good this feels. My studio becomes more spacious after I am done. The idea that one’s external environment can be a reflection of one’s interior world resonates with me. Keeping the outer chaos at bay definitely helps to maintain the calm inside. (Tidying is also a more physically active practice that gets me up on my feet. My body does not need to be sedentary all the time.)My Garden
I wish I could say I have time to work on my garden every day, but I generally do not go more than two days without being out there weeding or putzing around. As often as possible, I make the time to simply enjoy it. I sit in the comfy chairs in the seating area shaded by a Dogwood tree. I stare up at the leaves and absorb the splotches of light that break through the canopy. I walk around and check on each of the plants.
I do not see my garden as having anything to do with productivity. It is my own exterior and interior space where my mental wellbeing connects with the natural world. I cannot put into words how good it feels to be outside surrounded by diverse nature, fresh air, and natural light. It feels calming and nourishing in unspeakable ways.
This summer, the newest element of my garden will be a path to a small pond that is currently hidden at the back end of my garden. I will make this path by clearing overgrowth along the back fence. Once that is done, I will be adding layers of landscape fabric, cardboard, and mulch. Right now, there is a mountain of cardboard waiting to be used and not much else. In a month, I hope this area will look different.Adulting for me has been an ongoing process of figuring out how I want to live my life.
Does it need to be an endless stream of to-do lists and frenetic deadlines?Can there be spaces filled with calm and deliberate intention that simply feel good?
Well, yes, of course.
It is up to me to carve those spaces out of this enormous thing we call life. I have to protect them and hold them gently when I find them.
The beautiful part about a work in progress is that there is always progress no matter how small or slow it may seem. Just a little bit goes a long way.
UPCOMING SHOWS
New Heights Brewing Company (Ancestral Tongue)
Nashville, TN
Sunday, July 27
Lammas Cotillion (Ancestral Tongue)
Nashville, TN
Saturday, August 2
Lipstick Lounge (Ancestral Tongue)
Nashville, TN
Tuesday, August 5
Roqué’s Concert for One
Dowelltown, TN
Friday, August 8
Intimacy with self, intimacy with others, intimacy with space and place. I like it.