Windows To My Thoughts Inside
A Different View Inside My Head
Big hugs and gratitude to those of you who have donated money to my next film project. It is a sequel to my film YUP. You can help fund this campaign at the link below by donating or sharing:
Tomorrow, my band Ancestral Tongue will be one of the featured performers on the main stage of BoroPride in nearby Murfreesboro, TN. We have a lively set of my original songs planned, including an interlude featuring the wedding music I composed recently. If you are in the area, come by to celebrate Pride and to see us play. We go on at 3:30 PM.
This week, instead of showcasing some of the art I have made, I wanted to share some of the thoughts that are brewing in my head.
PORN AND HOW I DISPLAY MY BODY
I do not look at porn a lot, but I do enjoy it when i do. The performative aspects of sex and the nude human form can be beautiful things, but in my actual life, my body is covered up 99.99% of the time.
Perhaps this is due to a mix of personal shame and a genuine joy that I take in the clothes I curate for my wardrobe. At home and when doing errands, my clothes are blissfully practical—aprons, lots of pockets, and monochromatic colors so that I do not have to think about them too much. On stage or at a party, I wear something fun, textured, and vibrant.
However, I pretty much NEVER wear anything physically revealing. Perhaps this is a different avenue I could wander through to see what I can find?
BUILDING A LIFE AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
It is now well-documented that platforms like Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and X are all forms of surveillance capitalism. My likes, dislikes, preferences, and sensibilities are mined to absorb my attention and attract my money. These apps are hugely addictive by using the lives (or “content”) of their users to steal hours of our lives away from ourselves. It is all insidious, and like millions of its users, I drank the water they served.
I am trying to envision a life more removed from that surveillance. WPR is one pivot away from that direction, but as a performer, social media has become the default way for artists like me to tell the public and anyone who knows me about shows and other creative projects. For this reason, I cannot completely cut ties from it all.
What is an Asian to do?
EMBRACING SLOWNESS
I have been thinking a lot about the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) in my body.
According to a recent search engine query, the PNS ensures the following:
Slowing down of the heart rate and contractility
Stimulation of digestion, absorption, and waste elimination
Promotion of glandular secretions (saliva, tears, pancreatic enzymes)
Constriction of pupils (miosis) and relaxation of the lens for near vision
Facilitation of urination and defecation
The body achieves a calm and sustainable period of homeostasis, rest, and recovery after periods of elevated energy and blood flow through the sympathetic nervous system (SNS).
I want to proactively enhance the PNS processes in my body and figure out ways to do so. Currently, I am incorporating periods of deep breathing throughout my day and carrying out my daily tasks in a more deliberate, methodical, and slower manner. My stretching exercises seem to help as well.
If there are ways I can help my body take better care of itself, then I should do them.
Why not?
THE ART OF MENDING
With the help of a friend, I have been incrementally learning how to mend my damaged clothing. My work with embroidery has helped me be more comfortable with using a needle and creating patterns with thread on fabric.
I have discovered that mending is not just about fixing a piece of clothing. It can also be its own art form. My current project is a Hawaiian shirt that I somehow managed to tear in three places. I am using embroidery thread to repair the damage but to also create a flowing pattern that is similar to what I do in my drawings (much like the Japanese art of Sashiko).
This work is slow and methodical, and I am enjoying the heck out of it.
These are the thoughts that bounce around in my head at the moment.
Basically, I am the guy at a pool party wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck shirt and comfy, oversized corduroy pants while quietly doing deep breathing exercises and thinking about embroidery just to avoid looking at my phone and doom-scrolling.
Maybe someday, I’ll be the guy who tears open his shirt (to be mended later) and does cannonball jumps into the pool with nothing on but a Speedo.
Can I be one AND the other?
Only time will tell.
UPCOMING SHOWS
BoroPride
Murfreesboro, TN
Saturday, October 4
The French House
Nashville, TN
Sunday, December 6
A couple of weekends ago, I performed for a wedding in my neighborhood. I composed a piece of music for the opening procession. It was an outdoor wedding in perfect weather between two sweet and wonderful people. This event reminded me of the importance and specialness of celebrating life whenever possible.
Guests were given the option to dress super casual or avant-garde, which is a clever way of saying wear whatever the hell you want. I wore a silky Filipino dress shirt called a barong, a mask, and a cape. (I love capes!)
I got to be my full creative self and to watch love bloom. Sigh.
Project Updates
New Music:
Trying different key signatures for the songs.
Working on my vocals for the songs
New YUP Sequel Film Project:Planning videos for fundraiser
Mapping out a plan for filming various scenes
Beautiful read. Thanks for writing ☆