Roqué's Seedlings of Joy
Cultivating Little Bits of Happiness Every Day.
We are living in precarious times. Lately, my mental health seems to be struggling with the steady descent into the murky depths of fascism that is drowning America right now.
Ever since the current administration took office in January, I have felt compelled to keep up with the news and stay informed. Apps from NPR, BBC, the Guardian, and the Associated Press take up space on my cell phone. Strangely enough, the algorithm on Instagram has been showing me more posts that are pro-Palestine and critical of our current government.
I must admit that this has been overwhelming and casts a long shadow over my days. Starting yesterday, I decided to take a week off from checking the news. The apps on my phone have been disabled, and I will be limiting my time on social media more than ever.
If you can forgive me for sounding trite, I have been thinking about how I can plant tiny seeds of joy into my daily life to combat this doom. I have a handful of these seedlings to share with you this week. I hope some or all of them will be helpful for you as you navigate through our current state of affairs.
ROQUÉ’S SEEDLINGS OF JOY
Walking Outside in Nature
In my neck of the woods, the warmer days of spring have arrived. I have been taking walks along our creek by myself. The fresh air, birdsongs, and organic aromas of nature abound, and this is the kind of sensory overload that feels healing and gentle. I always feel better after one of my slow meandering walks outside.Communing with Animals
Our furry friends dole out their own healing medicine. I cuddle with both of my cats every day, and the two dogs in our house often demand belly rubs from me. Our pets do not judge us and love us wholeheartedly in ways that most humans cannot. Spending time with and holding a pet is the equivalent of a hug from a loved one, but much cuter.
Reading a Book
As a musician and filmmaker, this sounds counterintuitive, but reading a book is the best form of entertainment that exists. You can read it at your own pace and engage with its content through your private thoughts. Words can delve deeper into emotions, thoughts, and histories that the constraints of film and television do not allow. When I find a terrific book that I cannot put down, I forget about the stress in my own life and get carried away by someone else’s magic. Books are portals that take us into new worlds and enthrall us with a sense of possibility.
Singing Sad Songs
Speaking of feeling counterintuitive, I enjoy singing the heck out of sad songs and ballads when I practice music every day. My housemates can confirm that I sing them all the time.
Here’s a short list of some of my favorite sad song covers:
Baker Baker by Tori Amos
Never Is a Promise by Fiona Apple
Strawberry Wine by Deanna Carter
Moon River (I am not sure who originally sang it.)Kansas by Vienna Teng
Yesterday by the Beatles
I play my own original sad songs too! The slower pacing of a ballad has always felt like home to me. Performing a sad song is a way for me to release stress, sadness, and anger, and I always feel better after I play one. Maybe a good way to feel better is to give yourself permission to deeply feel what you are going through. Perhaps this is my way of practicing sadness because I know the real version will come to me sooner or later. Whatever the case, this might be my most bizarre seedling of joy. Sad songs give me life and feed me something I cannot name that I need nonetheless.Mucking about in my Garden
Many of you know I have been building my own garden over the last year. It is inspired by the subdued but finely detailed practices and aesthetics of Japanese gardening. I get out there every day and get dirty. If I am not pulling out weeds, I am arranging stones or shaping a trench to redirect storm runoff away from this little outdoor oasis. I find the outdoor physical labor in my garden to be quite enjoyable and empowering. You can hear me grunting away as my body pushes, pulls, and mucks about in dirt and mud. I cannot fully explain this, but the physical movement and grit of it all feels strangely gratifying.
Hidden Chocolate
Let me first say that eating sweets is definitely not the healthiest practice for your teeth and your body in general. Because of this, I eat sweets in moderation, which is why I hide chocolate. At the beginning of each month, I put little bits of chocolate in places that I normally visit every week or so. I often forget where I put them, and when I find one, I am overcome with blissful joy! (I probably should not tell my husband this, but he would find them EVERYWHERE if he only knew how to look.)
If any of you are familiar with the joy of finding an egg in an Easter egg hunt, this is exactly what I am replicating, and quite honestly, it’s really fun. I mainly hide dark chocolate and avoid eating them every day. This is only a once- or twice-a- week treat. I hide them in other locations if I find them too often.
Of course, other delights in my life give me joy (Filipino food, rainy days, baking banana bread, orgasms, etc.), but the practices in the list above are my general daily and weekly sure things.
Do you have any seedlings of joy you care to suggest? I am open to trying just about anything if it can combat the mental pitfalls of the current turmoil we are facing. Please write back and let me know.
I hope you can find your own way safely through these troubled times.
We all deserve at least a little bit of joy every now and then.
I enjoy baking. I get to do some of the work, and then chillax while an oven does the rest. A couple of days ago, I went to my friend Xyla’s house, and she helped me try out a recipe for a Filipino delicacy I discovered on my recent trip to the Philippines. We were missing two important ingredients, but it was a successful first try.
We made a little something called Bibingka, and it was warm, fluffy, and delicious!
